Aging people can be stubborn, and this is understandable to a certain degree. Those who have lived to the age of 65 and beyond and are healthy and stable are often individuals that made wise decisions in their youth. Thus, such individuals rightly feel that their way is best, but there are times when their behavior can be problematic, so below are some tips for dealing with stubborn parents.
Ask Lots of Questions
You never want to tell people what to do, especially your parents or grandparents. While you may have knowledge that they lack, remember that they’ve been on earth decades before you arrived. They are the reason you exist and this means you should show them respect. Instead of issuing commands to them and trying to dictate their behavior, ask them their opinion and what solutions should be used for the problem. This shows that you value them.
Apply The “Yes And” Method
Mediators use this technique for redirecting conversations. For example, if your aging loved one disagrees with you, rather than saying they’re wrong, you would select another response. For instance, you would acknowledge their point of view by saying “yes and”, then add your contrary thought. For example, if you have a wealthy father or mother that doesn’t want to deal with a will, and they tell you as much, you can respond by saying “yes and many people don’t want to deal with the hassle of setting up a will including me, but because of the benefits, I intend to do it for my children and there are some papers I’d like you to see and go over with me to sign, can you help me with that?”
Select Your Battles Carefully
If your parent or grandparent has habits that you disdain, but they do not directly interfere with their safety, it might be best to let the issue go.
It is best not to nag, push, or criticize your parents. Demanding your parents to give up their habits will only make them angry and they will want to fight back. However, you have to realize that arguing, yelling, or slamming doors can have the potential to damage the relationship you have with your parents. What you could do instead is to allow your parents to become a part of the decision-making process. You can show that you understand what they are feeling and let them know that you respect their views. You might not like it, but they do have valid opinions that you should defer to.
Choose The Right Time to Talk
Timing is important when it comes to having difficult conversations with aging loved ones. You want to choose a time that is comfortable for them, and if you and your loved one are estranged or have a difficult time getting along, you may want to consider using an intermediary that you both trust. Bring up the subject at a time when your loved one is amenable, such as after a great tasting meal where they feel satisfied and content.
